Party of 5

The Vow

2012-01-25T14:50:00.000-08:00

I think this looks like a cute movie. I probably won't be able to sucker Chris into seeing it so it'll be a get-a-babysitter-when-he's-at-work-and-go-with-a-girlfriend movie.

Oh, and just a thought:

YouknowwhatImean?

~ What the Hell Wednesday ~

2012-01-25T00:00:00.000-08:00

This picture is awesome because a friend of a friend actually took it while on a bus in San Francisco.

What the hell? Does she not feel that?

I have to admit I'm just a wee bit jealous that I could never do this. Is that weird?

Poor kid

2012-01-24T17:35:00.000-08:00

William declared today that his life is no fun. He said that all I do is drink coffee, all daddy does is work, and therefore his life is just no fun. Poor kid.

Apparently:

A life of no fun

Do you share your password?

2012-01-20T15:35:00.000-08:00

Does your husband/wife/partner know the passwords to your accounts? Not just banking and Amazon but to facebook and email? How do you feel about this subject? Should they have access to the more private things or is there no reason for privacy like that in a serious relationship or marriage?

Chris doesn't know the passwords to mine because he doesn't care. He'd rather "smash his gonads with a wooden mallet" than spend 10 seconds on facebook. He isn't one who is interested in connecting with others via social media outlets and I believe he thinks I'm crazy because I do. If he asked, however, I'd give him all my passwords without hesitation. The only thing that would bother me is that he felt a need to do so. If he asked or bothered to check on my things it would be because something was amiss and that's obviously a bigger issue than reading my email. I know all of his passwords because his accounts are personal and business related. I've never one time looked. Again, if I felt the need to check something much bigger would need to be addressed than being sure I had a password correct.

My life is such an open book - hello, blog! - that I'm surprised I haven't given YOU my passwords. Or maybe it's just that with true love and respect there is an understood honesty and loyalty that goes without saying. And no, after 17 years I am not naive. I just know that our online lives are not check-worthy. If he wanted to hear about the kids fighting, me being tired, all the unfolded clean laundry around the house, or how I don't cook he'd just come home and look around. He doesn't need to read it in text, too.

This week's paycheck

2012-01-19T13:14:00.000-08:00

Being a stay-at-home mom is all I ever wanted to do. I know, such high aspirations, right?! 5 years of college to then basically not work. I didn't know if it would ever happen since living on one income is never easy. Fortunately I married a man who has the same work ethic as my mom and is persistant and lucky and blessed all wrapped into one handsome body. After a 7 year career in teaching I was able to just walk away and stay home. In one day I went from a financial contributor to our home, a working woman, an important contributor to our society, to, well... staying home. I don't negate the importance of my job or that of any stay-at-home mom, but it was quite a shift. And kind of a hard one. Especially the not being a financial contributor part. If you were to write out the pros and cons the list would probably be equal in length but the pros list carries more weight. For me, anyway. And for my kids.

If you're wondering what a stay-at-home mom's paycheck looks like, it looks like this:

A paper written by William

A first haircut at the haircut place with no tears and a piece of gum as a reward

Drew taking Lauren outside to swing with her without having to be asked

Obviously these paychecks won't pay the bills but they sure fill up the emotional bank, if you know what I mean.

Lucky bitch. Literally.

2012-01-19T09:22:00.000-08:00

Holly is officially the luckiest person in the house. She is like any other female - she needs her space. Her quiet time. To just be left alone and not bothered. In this loud crazy house she has found her sanctuary.

Trust me. If I could fit I'd be under there, too.

~ What the Hell Wednesday ~

2012-01-18T09:17:00.000-08:00

At some point in our lives I think we all love Cheetos, amiright? Those days are long gone for me and the neon orange it leaves behind on the kids' fingers make me want to puke. I can remember licking that off. I can't even imagine that now. That's why this is especially hard for me to stomach.

Really?

What the hell?

There are some big things happening with internet freedom and the threat of it being taken away. I'll post about it later. Today I'm lucky I have my shoes on the right feet. A post which requires thought wasn't happening this morning.

Happy Wednesday, friends. If you see a WTH situation today, share it on our facebook page!

Still working

2012-01-16T17:10:00.000-08:00

My fake point system is still working. I swear, it's the weirdest thing. See?

100 points each.

Proudly wearing my suit of armor

2012-01-13T14:20:00.000-08:00

This may not be safe for work. And it's certainly not posted in any inapporpriate kind of way. I'm posting it because I think the differences are striking.

As a non-skinny person, I'm kinda tired of seeing clothes on size 2 people that are then supposed to look well on me. And I get that the majority of people don't want to see a big fat girl modeling clothes, honestly I'm not sure I do, either. It's not what we've ever known or been taught to be attractive. We want to see attractive, realistic or not.

This is a picture of a runway model whose BMI meets the criteria for anorexic. The other is a model (plus-size) who is a size 12.

Look at the arms. Look at the hips. Look at the thighs.

I could Zumba from now until Christmas without stopping and never look like that chick on the left and I'm kinda tired of images insinuating that I should.

Plus, I've carried 3 kids, nursed 3 kids, and carried 3 kids in my arms from Feb. 2005 until present day. If I didn't have my suit of armor (as I lovingly call it) I wouldn't be the strong, cozy mom I am for my kids. I wouldn't trade that for anything.

I'll be back to blog again on Monday. Right now I'm off. To eat a sandwich.

Happy Friday, friends.

*If you're feeling me on this, share this post!

Trauma with teeth

2012-01-13T09:37:00.000-08:00

Front teeth. Sometimes they fall out on their own. Other times, like in Drew's case, it just hangs there. For weeks. And honestly, that's kind of gross.

Last night it was time for action. She was super excited to put floss around it and pull it out. We sat and watched YouTube clips of kids who had a snaggle tooth just like she did and how they pulled it out. She was excited. BUT, once Chris got the slip knot on it and there was no other way that floss was coming off except with the tooth, she lost her shit. For about 30 minutes straight. Here is part of it:

Long story short, about 25 minutes after this, after dragging that floss around the house, Chris convinced her if he tugged once it would come out and it'd be over. We also told her that when I tooth has to be pulled and doesn't just fall out on its own that the tooth fairy leaves a little some'in some'in. She sat on the stairs, he sat a few stairs lower and he tugged once and it was over. She cried and laughed and cried and laughed.

The Tooth Fairy left her usual 4 sparkly quarters - which Drew thinks are SO special - and for all the trauma that was caused by the 5 foot floss and the tears the Tooth Fairy left a sparkly half dollar, too.

And, as she pointed out this morning, it takes her less time to brush her teeth now because she has less teeth! Like 10 seconds less. Whatever brings a smile to that pretty face...

~ What the Hell Wednesday ~

2012-01-11T13:43:00.000-08:00

When I was in high school ('89-'93) and it was senior portrait time we all had to go to the same place to have it done. I actually have zero recollection of where it was or thinking about what I was going to wear or anything but I remember we had very little say about it all. Now, apparently, schools allow their seniors to submit their own photos doing something which represents them - an activity they like doing, with their sports gear on, with their vehicle, whatever.

I'm sure you've seen this story. This girl at a high school in Denver submitted a photo which even her peers deemed inappropriate.

Here's the picture:

She's 18, I get it, but for your school yearbook? This says, "My activites are looking pouty and gripping poles."

Now, on the flip side, they don't really need to be quite like this, either:

This says, "I like swinging, have no idea how to tame my cowlick, and haven't discovered mascara for my blond eyelashes yet."

C'mon. Let's be honest. You don't want to be remembered as the slut, do you? Or do you...?

What the hell?

To read the full story, click here.

And in case you're kind of like, "I don't really see what's wrong with it", this is the second photo she submitted to the yearbook (which was also denied).

WTH? Amiright?

Just a few random things

2012-01-08T16:05:00.000-08:00

I've been looking for something to hang above my stove since I took my Merry Christmas sign down. I found this last night at Home Goods and am so happy with it. 3/5 of us can read it but eventually everyone will be able to. It's everything we preach in this house. And bonus? Spaghetti will wipe off of it easily since it practically is so long to hang into my burners.

Since I take Zumba 2-3 times a week, I feel like a professional dancer. Like, I'm not kidding. Given a couple drinks I may even try and battle someone at a club or something. My actual skills are not quite on the same level as my confidence. Anyway, I've been wanting to buy Just Dance for our Wii and just never had. Until today. IT'S AWESOME. Chris and I had a dance off and I totally won. By a lot. And I have to admit that I fell in love with him all over again while watching him dance to California Girls by Katy Perry with Drew. Here is a picure of the video clip. Out of respect for him I will not post the video (he threatened me) so I took a still of the video as a sneak peek.

Love how Drew is wearing her gymnastics garb

Have you tried this ice cream? Does your store carry it? Did you know it existed?

I haven't, I don't know if they do, and no, I didn't! Not until 30 minutes ago when I saw it online. As you can imagine, I am now on a mission.

Here's to another great week ahead!

xoxo

Nana's brownies with peanut butter cookie dough

2012-01-07T12:32:00.000-08:00

Wanna make these? They are super easy.

Nana's brownies
2 sticks of butter
4oz. unsweetened chocolate squares (4 squares)
2 cups sugar
4 eggs
1 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. vanilla
nuts - optional
chocolate bits - optional

Melt the 2 sticks of butter and the 4 squares of chocolate together. Add the 2 cups of sugar and stir. When a little cool (5 minutes maybe), add the 4 beaten eggs and vanilla and stir. Add the 1 1/2 cups flour and 1 tsp. baking powder and stir. Add the walnuts and/or chocolate bits if you'd like. I don't measure these so as much or as little as you'd like. I use only one pan for all of this - no sense in making more of a mess than you need.

* If you are going to make them with the peanut butter cookie dough on top - keep reading about how I did that, then bake according to these directions. Pour into a 13x9 and bake at 300* for about 40 min. My oven is 30 years old so you may want to set yours at 30 minutes and just keep an eye on it after that.

Peanut Butter cookie dough to plop on top:

I could lie and say I made that from scratch, too, but this time I didn't and it turned out just fine.

After you pour the brownie batter into the 13x9, lay out the cookie dough on top. If you want it to sink down into the brownies, you can do plops of spoonfuls. I kind of laid it out on top so it'd be more of a topping or a layer. You can do whatever you want.

This is how it looked before it went in:

And when it came out and I cut it:

Honestly, the peanut butter taste isn't strong at all. Had I made homemade cookie dough it probably would be more of the taste I was going for but they are still pretty good. You could do this with chocolate chip cookie dough, too!

If you happen to make these, in any variation, I'd love to hear about it!

Brat in training

2012-01-06T11:33:00.000-08:00

It's 11:26am. We're about to leave to go get Drew from school (Fridays are half days) and then we'll come home and I'll make lunch for everyone.

Lauren just brought me a mini bag of Cheezits, you know, those individual bags from Costco? She said, "Mommy, please?" I said, "No, we're going to have lunch in 30 minutes." She said, "I WANT CHEEZITS MOMMY, PLEASE!" and then jumped up and down like a fool.

I gave her the Cheezits.

What is wrong with me? I am SO OVER the noise and the pleading that I am just now realizing that for reals, that child gets everything. I just want the noise to stop so I give in.

I am so proud of the parent I was with Drew and William. Strong, consistent, reasonable, etc. With Lauren I'm like, "Sure, whatever, just stop making so much noise." I'm pretty sure that approach is going to backfire very very soon.

I'm becoming what I've always called the WalMart Mom. The one who has the kid who acts like a brat and the mom gives in, with a smile. I always thought those women were such weak sisters. I've become one of them. I must get the power back. It's about 51% in my hands, 49% in Lauren's hands right now and that is a very scary thing.

2012 Motto

2012-01-04T18:19:00.000-08:00

The 2012 motto of the blog.

Today I...

2012-01-04T17:25:00.000-08:00

* signed all 3 kids up for gymnastics. Drew in an all-girls 7 year old class, William in a 5 year old boy/girl class, and Lauren in a 3 year old class that is NOT parent participation. All 3 classes are in the same location at the same time. Can you believe it? All three busy doing something awesome at the same place at the same time with someone other than me. Can I get an AMEN?

* signed Holly up for obedience school. Honestly, she's pretty obedient to begin with but 6 weeks of the basics won't hurt. Drew and I are taking her together, since she is Drew's dog, and I think it will be great for everyone involved.

Wait! I haven't told you about Holly! Well, long story short she's the 6th member of our family (as of a month ago) and she is fabulous. We lucked out like nobody's business. She's from a rescue shelter, she "belongs" to Drew, and she's meant to be with us. Here's a little picture:

Isn't she great?

* had this filled up three times today. THREE. Did you buy one of these? If not, you missed out! There was one day in December when Starbucks sold this particular tumbler and for the entire month of January they fill it for free with drip coffee. I figure I am saving about $4.00 and 150 calories a day everyday for the month of January. Wait, did I say a day? Shhhh.

Thrice blessed

What'd you do today?

Too lazy to pump soap

2012-01-04T09:38:00.000-08:00

This is the best thing since the Siri, in my opinion. It is just one of those conveniences that is unnecessary, makes you feel a bit spoiled and ridiculous, but is fabulous.

Automatic soap dispenser for your kitchen (or bathroom or mudroom)

You can buy it here.

You think you won't need it or use it or love it but YOU WILL.

Frickin' laundry

2012-01-03T22:15:00.000-08:00

I don't have a laundry day because everyday is laundry day. I don't sort by people and unless it's going to bleed, I don't separate by color either. I do wash linens separately but that's only because I wash those in super hot water and if I washed my clothes in super hot water nothing would fit. Alltosay, I try and make it as simple as possible for myself. But somehow, somehow, it's just not simple. It piles up, it stares at me, it taunts me, it becomes a bigger task than it really is, and I spend more energy avoiding it than I would if I just took care of it.

Today was going to be the day. I had a basket full plus 3 loads on top of that in my bedroom that needed to be folded and put away. TODAY.

9:45am

9:45pm

I just didn't get to it today! The thing about this is that I promised Chris I would. Chris, who thinks that this should never ever ever happen, expects that this is going to be put away before he comes to bed. Now, before you think he's an arrogant dictator, he's really not. He just expects me to run the house and the kids like he runs his business and fire - efficiently. I snap back with, "Don't you hold me to those high standards, Mister. I've got shit to do - like blogging and catching up on Real Housewives." Anyway, back to him expecting them to be put away by the time he comes to bed tonight, this is what I did: I went through and picked out some of his fire shirts, his underwear, and some socks. I put those away so it looked as if all the laundry was put away because those will be the only drawers he needs for himself in the morning before he heads to work. The rest of the ginormous pile? In a corner in the dining room with a blanket over it. No, I'm not kidding. Do you know how much energy I expended in avoiding putting the laundry away in the last 30 minutes? Enough to burn off a couple pieces of that Christmas fudge, I do believe.

Awesome.

NYE

2011-12-31T08:10:00.000-08:00

Whatcha doing tonight? Anything fun for New Year's Eve?

Most people don't have to work tomorrow. Firefighters don't observe holidays, however, so tomorrow is a normal day for Chris. Because of that, which means he gets up at 3:45am, staying up 'til midnight isn't really smart for him. More importantly, for the safety and well-being of my children tomorrow, staying up 'til midnight isn't smart for ME.

We're having our great friends over for a fabulous meal made by me (I mean Chris), have a few drinks, play some games, let the kids run wild, and we'll be celebrating at 9:00pm with Anderson Cooper or Ryan Seacrest or someone on east coast time. We'll ring in the east coast new year so that we can be in bed at a reasonable hour.

Some may call that sad. I call it brilliant. I won't be hungover or a danger to my kids tomorrow because I'll still get my 8 hours necessary for everyone's safety. New Year's or not.

Be safe and I'll chat at you next year. Like, in 24 hours.

xoxo

See?

2011-12-30T10:52:00.000-08:00

Damn Santa for bringing this chatterbox kid something he can now narrate and share all. day. long.

Don't hate me because I'm a genius

2011-12-28T21:57:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning and before I even opened my eyes all 3 kids were on my bed fighting over who got to lay next to me first. With my eyes still closed I told them all to get out of my room and go watch TV, that I'd be up in a few minutes. They left. They came back. This time they were on my floor coloring only to knock over the big bowl of crayons and then they took turns yelling at each other for being the one who did it and who had to clean it up. I peeked my eye open and it was not even 8:00am yet. I grabbed my phone off my night stand and texted our fabulous sitter and wrote, "Are you available today?"

She wrote back, "Yes, I am."

By 10:15am I was out of here and didn't return until 2:00pm.

I know.

Damn that fat man

2011-12-27T08:44:00.000-08:00

The big kids got a DSi from Santa for Christmas. And, thanks to all the grandparents, a slew of games, too.

William, whose brain NEVER stops, is in love with it, just as I expected. As in, he hasn't put it down yet. It's new, it's vacation, and it's fine. We will, however, put a limit on it in the next few days. And that isn't for his benefit, it's for MINE.

This kid not only narrates whatever he's playing, he calls me over or brings it to me and shows me and explains what has happened, what is happening, or what is going to happen next. All the time. Every game. The whole time he is playing. At first I feigned interest. I even asked questions. Then I just did the "uh huh" stuff while I looked on. Now I don't even look or say anything and it's as if he doesn't even notice. I'm not being completely dismissive to be mean - of course not! I'm in DSi survival mode. I can't tolerate the talk about it anymore. For that reason, and that reason alone, the DSi has to be limited. 30 min. a day after homework or something like that. I may be able to tolerate that. We'll see.

It's melting his brain.

It's melting mine, too.

Looks like she's been in a bar fight

2011-12-25T15:36:00.000-08:00

So....

Santa came last night:

The Tooth Fairy will come tonight...

First front toof lost on Christmas Day

It's a good thing the Easter Bunny has a few months before he's due to arrive. The sparkle and magic in this house has just 'bout hit its limit. By that I mean I'm fresh out of creativity and ideas.

Hope your day was sparkly and magical.

Merry Christmas, friends.

Dear Santa - Love, Ashley

2011-12-23T14:37:00.000-08:00

You can think one of the following:

(a) We are such great examples for our children and want them to know that it IS greater to give than to receive.

(b) Although we have donated to the food bank and to Toys for Tots in the last week, we are wanting to be sure we cover all bases and give to those adults who may be in need of stocking gifts.

(c) We are too lazy and cheap to go out and buy gifts for each other to fill each other's stockings with between now and tomorrow night but we are afraid of what the kids will think when the see that Santa "forgot us".

Hmmmmm. I see what you think of me.

Oh, hell no.

2011-12-22T13:21:00.000-08:00

I saw this and immediately my blood started to boil a little.

I don't use time out but if I did, it wouldn't be a feel-good place. Yes, it's important your kids know you love them regardless of the bad choices they may make but really? An I LOVE YOU written on the time out chair? I know some will completely disagree with me about this but I think this is ridiculous. I'm all about consequences and discipline as well as love and kisses but I'm not sure that they mesh like this.

My time out chair would say, "Turn around, don't look at me, and keep your mouth closed until you are ready to come apologize and explain to me what you could have done differently. If you are sincere I will likely give you a hug and send you on your way."

What do you think about this?

~ What the Hell Wednesday ~

2011-12-21T21:20:00.000-08:00

What is delicious served on hot buttered toast with a glass of brandy? Why, reindeer paté, of course!

If you really are interested, you can order it here, at Edible.com.

Oh, wait. They are OUT OF STOCK due to such HIGH DEMAND.

WTF?

*sad face*

Christmas cards - what do you do with them?

2011-12-20T13:52:00.000-08:00

What do you do with the Christmas cards you receive in the mail? In the past I've hung them on a paper clip thingy or put them each on our fridge. This year I haven't done anything except put them in a little basket on the counter. Friends who have come over have enjoyed going through them but it seems kind of silly to just have them there. Do you have a good soloution?

Also, do you want to share your Christmas card? Post it on our facebook page to share with other readers. I would love to see it and so would they!

Dear Blog Readers,

2011-12-18T16:21:00.000-08:00

Dear Blog Readers,

I miss you! I'm still here, I'm just drowing in snot and coughs and wrapping and baking and mailing and napping and... you know? My head is busting at the seams with things I need to write down. Please keep checking in with me, I swear I'll be back every few days. The every day blogging thing has to chill for now, I just can't do it. It just means when I do write for the next 2 weeks or so it should be really good, right? Then come 2012 I'll be back on track.

Now go wrap something! Or mail something! Or bake something!

Question of the day

2011-12-11T19:34:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wonder WHY the kids want to be with me all the time. Like when they follow me into one of the bedrooms when I am putting laundry away. Or how they eventually make their way into the kitchen as I'm putting dishes away. Or how they end up rolling in while I'm curled on the chair in the front livingroom in the complete dark trying to hide while on the telephone. Somehow they always find me. And it's not to sit and chat with me or even to ask me a question. It's to wrestle with each other, argue about something stupid with each other, or to practice their whistling and arm farting skills. Why is that? I know someday I'll miss them when they've moved out or when they don't want to be around me but all I can think of is why do they want to be with me when all I do in those moments is shoo them away, tell them to shush, and tell them how rude they're being. Why would you make an effort to be around someone like that?

Goodwill gifts

2011-12-10T17:11:00.000-08:00

Drew and I took a big bag of toys (that the kids don't play with ever) to Goodwill. After we dropped our bag off we went inside. Drew had never been inside and she thought it was awesome. We went in for Drew to shop for William and Lauren for Christmas. She was very thoughtful in her choices. Here, $7 later, are the two gifts she chose for her brother and sister. They will be thrilled, without a doubt.

Hello, Hello!

2011-12-08T21:01:00.000-08:00

Our Elf on the Shelf (his name is Hello) has done jack shit for behavior this year but it has provided great entertainment every morning. Lauren usually finds him first because she's up at the crack everyday. She's learning to let Drew and William look for him without blurting out where he is as soon as they come downstairs. They are enjoying the silliness this year.

So far this is a few of what we've had:

He was too tired to fly to the North Pole so he took my car and flew in that. It was parked crooked in the driveway and there were sparkles all over. This was the biggest hit yet.

He made a mess of the blocks on the coffee table and we found him sitting like this.

Silly!

Hanging out with the utensils

The chocolate bar belongs to William - he won it at Awana. Tomorrow morning when he sees this setup he's either going to get a hoot out of it or be pissed that Hello opened his candy.

Have any other great ideas? Pass them on! I've got 15 more nights to do this!

Just can't catch a break during this busy time

2011-12-08T17:09:00.000-08:00

Today I had so much to do: Christmas shopping, change sheets upstairs because of an *ahem* accident last night by one of the children, the daily laundry, the daily putting away that never gets done, grocery shopping, taking our new pup to the vet, all while doing the normal daily stuff of dropping off and picking up at two different places at four different times. I know it's a busy time of year for everyone so I'm not complaining at all, it's just a fact that the day was chock full of things that needed to be done.

Lauren, the expert iPhone photographer, caught me in the middle of the action this afternoon.

I am hoping for an equally productive day tomorrow.

ps. My iPhone has a "make her nose look ginormous" button that was obviously set to on.

~ What the Hell Wednesday ~

2011-12-07T19:33:00.000-08:00

It's that horrifying moment when you realize that your friend's fat arm makes you look naked in that office party photo

Off the chain

2011-12-04T21:32:00.000-08:00

In the last 48 hours we:

* Added to our family with our new dog, Holly Winter Peters

* Went away for a night to celebrate the holidays with Chris's fire station crew, past and present

* Crashed a wedding

* Drank my weekly allotment of calories in one night of alcohol

* Had a one hour facial that was perfectly heavenly

* Put up and decorated our Christmas tree

To some this may be kind of every weekend-ish. (Well, not the Christmas tree part.) For me, as you know, it's not. We had the best time ever and when my headachey hangover goes away, I'll write in detail. It was, as the kids say, off the frickin' chain.

Crashers

H.W.P.

Have a great Monday, friends.

On my mind every day

2011-12-01T09:31:00.000-08:00

1. Being a better cook

2. Being a more attentive mommy

3. Getting healthier (that's mommy speak for losing a shitload of weight)

4. Being a more appreciative wife

What are your somethings?

OVERIT

2011-11-30T21:13:00.000-08:00

I'm up everyday now at 5am with a little girl whose internal clock is whack. I am eating dinner tonight at 9pm for the 4th night in a row because it's the first time all day I get to actually SIT. I am still reading the same book I started 4 months ago. 4 MONTHS. I am behind 3 weeks in all my Real Housewives shows. I am buried by laundry. And apparently I've caught the attention of Mr. Sore Throat who has been flirting with me for quite a few days and comes and goes but when he comes he's aggressive.

Can a sister just get a minute? Just a minute? The bad part about not feeling overwhelmed very often is that when it hits - it hits.

Do you feel me?

~ What the Hell Wednesday ~

2011-11-30T09:38:00.000-08:00

I learned 2 new things by watching this video:

1. Kim Kardashian beat up on her soon-to-be ex-husband of 72 days.

2. At about the 1:16 mark they are clearly telling me I'm a bad mom because yes, I would let my kids do it this way. Not because it's the right thing to do but because I'm too tired to do the whole, "Use your words" thing anymore.

What the hell is she beating up on her new husband for, expecially when he's 3x her size? Did she not know there were cameras in the room? Does she not know you don't take a swing at your spouse? Does she not know that he'd knock her into next week if he wanted to?

A special Hello kiss!

2011-11-28T22:17:00.000-08:00

I'm back! I have so much to catch up on but instead of dwelling on the whole I-don't-have-time-to-do-that-right-now I'm just going to move on. I may try and catch up on things I've missed posting throughout the week.

Sooo... what's new with you?

What's new here is that HELLO has arrived! The kids don't know it yet but they'll find him tomorrow morning. He's waiting with a surprise for them!

The note says: "Drew, William, and Lauren, Look in the mirror! I gave you a HELLO kiss last night! Happy to be back with you! Love, Hello"

Each child has a kiss on his/her nose. Can you see it there? Hard to take a picture in the dark and have it show up well but there is William's kiss, a big red one right on his nose.

I didn't think of this on my own, I found it on Pinterest. Let's all just file that under the Shit I Wish I'd Thought Of But Didn't category, shall we? You can credit me for the idea if you'd like because given a free second or two I probably could have thought of it.

Can't wait to see their reaction in the morning.

AND, if you don't have an Elf on the Shelf, you need to get one.

Where ya been?

2011-11-23T11:18:00.000-08:00

My poor, neglected blog! I've never in 2 years gone this long without blogging. A combination of exhaustion, apathy, and having no wireless internet (therefore having to sit at the desk) to be online has kept me from my babyblog. Sorry and thank you if you've been checking in.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving, whatever that may look like for you. Friends, family, food, football... For us here it's dinner for 10, dessert for 13, sledding, swimming (indoors), and sleeping (for me). Looking forward to every second of it.

I'll be back after the weekend and will be back on a roll! Until then, friends - eat, drink, and be merry.

Cold meds, need your help, and damn Starbucks and their holiday cheer

2011-11-17T21:59:00.000-08:00

Here are just a few things I've been wanting to share:

Hyland's Cold and Cough. Have you tried this stuff with your fluish-like baby or toddler? If not, why not?! It's a miracle in a bottle, I'm not kidding. It happens to be homeopathic which to me means notsomuch because I'm all about modern medicine or whatever makes them better but I suppose that's a bonus.

Lauren has a nasty cold right now. Watery eyes, super runny nose, cough, and she looks like hell. Thanks to the cough she's sleeping like hell, too. After the first dose her symptoms were minimized significantly. After the second dose she stopped coughing altogether. It could be a coincidence but as of right now I'm totally sold on this product. The reviews on the website are great, too. Of course they are on their own website, right? But still...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Our dining room is empty after 6 years of enjoying our friends' dining room furniture. It was special because it was his parents' so long ago and we were able to enjoy 6 years worth of holidays and special occasions using it. It's time now to return it and to get our own. That's where YOU come in. Do you have a job at a computer but find yourself browsing online during the day? If so, do you want to be my personal dining room furniture shopper? You DO?! That's fabulous! Ok, here's what I like: I need at least an 8 seater (with a leaf). I'd like dark wood or possibly even black. Probably no upholstery on the chairs but leather would be fine. I would really really love a farmhouse table. Chris has few requirements except that it is not a farmhouse table. So there ya go. Get to shopping. Oh, and here's a look at the room. It's not huge but not as small as this pic makes it seem.

OH! And I also need a china cabinet or a hutch. Obviously something that matches the table. I like a more traditional style as opposed to modern.

I'm not really exaggerating when I say I think I wanted this house because of this chandelier in the dining room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We're going away this spring for our 10 year anniversary/honeymoon trip. Like going away, going away. We will be coming back but it will be after a long alone trip somewhere far far away where we've slept and swum and eaten and had too much to drink. Anyway, the body I occupy right now I have decided is not invited so I'm working very hard to have a healthier one before the trip. I won't bore you with my workout regimine or my daily caloric intake or the app I use to record even the air I breathe, but I will tell you this:

This bad boy - a peppermint brownie cakepop from Starbucks - is 170 calories and is nearly 12 minutes of kicking ass on the elliptical. Worth it? Only on gym double-days.

Damn you, Starbucks.

The experienced voices are louder

2011-11-15T20:57:00.000-08:00

7 years ago I would have said there were so many things wrong with this picture. You shouldn't be on the floor, we're not buying that book, the floor is dirty, you're in the way, you're being rude, people will look, where do you think you are?, who do you think you are?, you're in the way, and most importantly, people will look!

Now, 7 years later, I still say those things in my head but they aren't as loud as the voices that are saying that she's not bugging me, she's not asking for something, she's not fighting with her brother and sister, she's not throwing a fit, she's not hanging on me, she's not currently in anyone's way and anyone who looks and is judgey can bite me.

Funny how time changes things.

48.26 and proud of it!

2011-11-14T19:32:00.000-08:00

A “Kardashian” is a unit of measure representing 72 days of marriage.

How many Kardashians have you been married??

Click on the Kardashian Calculator to find out!

Take it like a man

2011-11-12T17:27:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went with two girlfriends to see J. Edgar. It's a wonderful movie and the acting is terrific. I knew very little about the man so it was interesting on top of entertaining. I was gone for 6 hours while our fabulous sitter had all 3 kids at home and Chris was at work. I came home to a report of NO FIGHTING. Isn't that amazing? I declared it to be McDonald's Ice Cream Night after we ate dinner because of the good choices they made while I was gone. Then, not 10 minutes later, William called Drew a butthole. He lost his opportunity to get an ice cream. He hooted and hollered like he does and it was ugly. Like U-G-L-Y ugly. About 40 minutes later we piled into the car to go get the girls their ice cream and he dealt with it like a man. I was proud of him. Guess his fit earlier had exhausted all his rage about it. On the way home, as he sat empty-handed, I said, "Are you ever going to use that word again?" He said, "Not if it means no ice cream."

Alrighty, then. Mission accomplished.

Eleven eleven eleven

2011-11-10T19:30:00.000-08:00

They say since this won't happen again for another one hundred years that it should be an epic wish. My epic 11-11-11 wish came true yesterday. My new vacuum cleaner that I ordered arrived.

Remember, epic is a relative term.

What will you wish for?

For sale

2011-11-09T06:29:00.000-08:00

Alarm clock for sale!

* The time can't be changed on it and it goes off at 5:45am every morning.

* You can't set it to music. It only says, "Mommy" in a really lovely singing tone.

* You can't adjust the volume. It comes on one setting only: annoyingly loud.

This alarm clock is really valuable to me but based on the above criteria I just feel it's time to let it go. Let me know if you're interested and we can discuss a price.

~ What the Hell Wednesday ~

2011-11-08T16:35:00.000-08:00

Michelle Duggar and I are sisters. Not sister sisters but sisters in this Motherhood Club. I feel like with 3 kids ages 6 and under that I have earned maybe... I don't know, V.I.P. status in this club maybe? Michelle Duggar, however, has now officially earned herself the status of Cray Cray Queen. We may be sisters in this special club but that's about where our common thread breaks.

Everyone has their own opinion about what the Duggars are doing (by that I mean reproducing like house flies). You can guess what mine is but I'm thinking now with the news of her 20th pregnancy about some things that, as her sister, I am familiar with: the post-pregnancy body and hormones.   I'd like to ask her the following questions:

1.  I'm guessing you never jump on a trampoline anymore, right?

2.  How do you sneeze?

3.  How have you never taken Prozac? I'm serious.

4. What kind of bra do you wear? I know it's got to be a gooooood one.

5. How do you remember their names, birthdays, weight, clothing size, and shoe size? I only have 3 and can't do that sometimes.

6. How does it feel to have had carseats in your car since 1988? I've had carseats since 2005 and I'm sooooo over it.

7. How do you continue to feed them all so well? My third eats Cheetos for breakfast somedays if she wants 'cause I'm too bothered to deal with anything else.

8. Do you look forward to doctor appointments and dentist appointments for yourself like I do?

9.  Do you feel guilty having all your older children do so much of the child-rearing of your younger children?

10.  Number 20 due in April, 2012. What the hell??

My vibe. Hmmm...

2011-11-06T19:52:00.000-08:00

Do you ever wonder what people think about you? Even if you for realz don't care, do you still wonder maybe what vibe you give off?

Obviously I put it all out there with this blog. There are only a few topics which I've never written about and never will. I've discussed my crazy hormonal imbalance after I had Lauren (and still?), the sadness of losing one of my favorite people on the planet, how inept I am at cooking and nearly everything else that stay-at-home-moms traditionally do, the struggle in choosing a school for our kids, my mom's cancer, and giving up my career and much of myself to take on this mom gig, just to name a few. I give anyone who reads my blog an opportunity to form an opinion about me or to judge me. I for realz don't care but I do wonder what kind of vibe I give off.

How 'bout you? Is it something you ever think about?

At a loss and out of humor

2011-11-05T13:07:00.000-07:00

Off the hook. Off the chain. Out of control. Insane. <--- All words to describe the fighting and nagging and bickering that goes on this house from the time the little people wake up to the time they go to sleep with absolutely no break in between. I am not exaggerating when I say that it is always something. Always. Now that Lauren is 100% in the mix there are many combinations of kids who will bother another which starts the bickering which turns to fighting which turns to whining which turns to crying. Every. Single. God. Damned. Time. All day long. It's nearly driven me to tears these last few days. I just can't handle it anymore.

I've tried lots of positive! feel good! behavior charts and all kinds of other bullshit and honestly it's so draining to keep up with it. Maybe that is the answer and I fizzle out on it too soon but I just want them to STOP without having to get a freaking sticker or a penny or something. Just stop. Stop.

I know it's normal for siblings to argue. My brother and I are a year apart and we fought all the time. I'm not concerned for their future relationships with each other at all. I know this is how it is now and it won't forever be this way. For now I'm worried about one person. ME. I'm losing my mind. I'm losing my patience. I'm losing my temper (a lot). I'm losing my cool which in turn is making me lose my power which I will never allow to happen. I think that's part of it. I'm feeling a bit threatened by all of this fighting between them because nothing I do or say can stop it. It's like this thing that needs to run its course and it's out of my control. I'm just a helpless, bitchy witness to it all.

I don't intervene most of the time but it doesn't matter. Just hearing it is exhausting. At the end of the day I feel like I've run a marathon sometimes, just so completely wiped out. When really all I did was laundry and drop off and pick up from school, maybe went to the gym, possibly made dinner. But the physical toll that the emotional abuse I am forced to endure at the hands of my 6, 5, and 2 year old is the real deal. I'm just... exhausted.

I love love love them. But I go to the gym to get away from them. I love love love them. But I secretly sing the Hallelujah chorus in my head as I bound back down the stairs at 8:03pm everynight. I love love love them. But I let them watch 2 hours of Spongebob straight during Lauren's naptime just so they'll stay quiet.

I am out of humor when it comes to this situation, friends. They have even drained me of all my snark. That's how bad it is.

Wait! Bonus! We turn the clocks back tonight! Know what that means? An extra hour of sleep. For me, and them.

HALLELUJAH.

~ What the Hell Wednesday ~

2011-11-02T13:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Wednesday, friends!

Halloween, a pictoral summary

2011-11-01T16:22:00.000-07:00

Our Halloween, in pictures.

We had a special Halloween dinner of orange pancakes with chocolate bits, strawberries, and bacon to decorate with to turn our pancakes into pumpkins.

William's pancake. His chocolate bits were melting and he was getting pissed.

She was so proud of her creation.

Drew loved her creation, too. As we had to tell William in regards to Drew's pancake - beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Cupcake is ready...

Bumblebee is ready, too. Her costume was allofasudden too itchy, though, so she wore the dress as a skirt with a t-shirt instead.

Dragon Ninja was totally ready. Flip flops and all.

Group shot before we left. Of the 5 I took, this was by far the best and most serious one.

Lauren and me trick-or-treating.

Note to self: Old Navy sweatshirt is very unflattering in shadow pictures.

The bowl of candy - full sized candy - which looked like this at 6pm and looked like this at 10pm. We got ZERO trick-or-treaters this year. Our house is only one of two houses in our cul-de-sac that isn't pitch dark and closed up. We're the house at the very end of the cul-de-sac and apparently people just don't want to venture all the way down here for a little piece of candy. This year I bought big ones so the word would hopefully spread a little and we'd get a few more next year. You know, the whole, "That house gives out good candy, let's go there" thing. It's fun for the kids to give out candy and they don't get a chance to living down here. Oh, well. The trick-or-treating part was really fun and they got loaded up with tons of candy and we saw some friends and met some nice people.

I have not stolen any of their candy yet. I did not have any for breakfast.

I am totally lying.

Now... on to Thanksgiving!!

I look pretty good in orange, no?

2011-10-31T20:29:00.000-07:00

Hope your Halloween was happy.

Love,

Peters Party of 5

Let'sbehonest

2011-10-31T07:24:00.000-07:00

Ice Ice Baby

2011-10-27T22:46:00.000-07:00

I have said this in my head at every stop sign I've seen since 1991. When I saw this I was like, "OMG. THANK YOU."

Happy Friday, friends.

*And a HUGE virtual hug to my silent stalkers in Indiana! Hiya, girls!!*

So proud of my literate kids

2011-10-26T21:53:00.000-07:00

I am so proud to be the mother to a literate 1st grader. She can READ and WRITE damn near anything now. William is on the road and is what I would say in teacher-speak is an immergent literate person. He can write and kinda read. What I love the most is when they write directions for an obstacle course in chalk on the sidewalk out in the backyard or when they drop notes from the landing to the bottom of the stairs for me 30 minutes after I've put them to bed. The best, absolute best part about having literate kids, though, is when the write notes to each other.

I'm so proud.

~ What the Hell Wednesday ~

2011-10-26T09:19:00.000-07:00

Ah, a pregnant lady. Sure, she's holding a doll and in an obnoxiously painted room, but still. Who can't appreciate a very pregnant woman? Most of us have been there so we have a sisterhood, you know?

Here's her story: A performance artist who said giving birth is the "highest form of art" has delivered a baby boy — inside a New York City art gallery. ON PURPOSE.

The Microscope Gallery in Brooklyn said Marni Kotak gave birth to a healthy infant, weighing 9 pounds, 2 ounces, and 21 inches long.

The 36-year-old artist had set up a home-birth center at the gallery, turning the space into a brightly decorated bedroom with ocean blue walls and photo-imprinted pillows.

The gallery said in a statement that "Baby X" was born at 10:17 a.m. Tuesday. It didn't say how many people witnessed the birth or give any other detail.

The gallery said a video of the birth will be added to its upcoming exhibition.

WHAT THE HELL?

Are you a letter writer complainer? You should be!

2011-10-25T11:30:00.000-07:00

My friend, Sandy, and I meet on a Sunday once a month or so to have lunch and catch up. This Sunday we met at Macaroni Grill. If it could go wrong, it did. We waited 25 minutes before we actually had to get up and go ask a server to have someone tend to our table. I never got the salad I ordered, her order was incorrect, the coffee was cold and most definitely NOT decaf as ordered, blah, blah, blah. We politely pointed all of this out to our server. In the moment it was kind of no biggie but by the end of the meal we were fed up. A kid-free, $30 meal should not be stressful or totally f'd up in my opinion.

I wrote to Macaroni Grill and gave all the specifics. I think they need to know of their service on that particular afternoon.

In the past I've written to numerous companies. I really don't think my letters are bitchy/complainy, I think they are more informative. I don't get angry about stuff so there is no angry tone in my letters, it's more of an FYI and that as a consumer I do expect to get what I pay for - every. single. time. Every company has responded, some with coupons or whatever which is nice, but not the reason I write. I'm anxious to hear what Macaroni Grill has to say.

Do you complain about things or do you act on them?

~ mini update ~

2011-10-24T20:24:00.000-07:00

1. See the nakie on the trampoline? She is about 15 hours out from being sick and is 100% recovered. Apparently napping and sitting on your mommy's lap all day is good medicine.

2. See the blanket under the trampoline? We had dinner under there tonight. They thought it was awesome. So did I (no dishes, no mess!).

3. See the big kids? They are working on their math workbooks. They could be doing anything, including watching TV inside if they wanted, but this was their activity of choice after dinner.

*See this post if you're wondering what the hell has them doing math voluntarily*

crowded vs. CROWDED

2011-10-24T12:02:00.000-07:00

Since the stomach flu has inevitably spread and last night was the second sleepless night in three nights of dealing with A Sick Child it's obviously on my mind. Who is next? There are 3 more of us who are bound to get it, it's just the hurry-up-and-wait thing now. Where did it come from? Obviously there is no way of knowing and it could have been from a hundred different places. Did we spread it on to anyone else? It's likely although we were out and about not knowing that anyone was infected, obviously.

It's pictures like this that just scream stomach flu to me. Since my fear of it is so intense, I find myself kind of avoiding super crowded places more and more. For more than one reason this would freak me out but mainly because of the fear that someone would throw up. There really is no escaping it in a situation like this. But on a different note, can you imagine this being normal? This is at a recent job fair in Beijing. The accompanying article to this is interesting. You can click here to read it. It's some scary stuff.

Honestly, my idea of crowded is Costco on a Saturday morning. Guess I should rethink my definition of crowded.

Veni Vidi Vici

2011-10-23T10:52:00.000-07:00

Fall Break. I came, I saw, I conquered. We had playdates - here and other places - we went to see the Blue Angels, Nana, and her dogs, we went to the movies, we baked, we dealt with the stomach flu, we fought, we bickered, we... survived. I swear to you that this was the most difficult week for me in a long, long time. I think now, looking back, that it was the same as always but I saw no humor in any of it and that made it unbearable. Now, on this, the last day of Fall Break, I have my humor back which means it's back normal. It's all of the above without the difficult part. I'm used to it.

Oh! And guess what the kids decide to do on the last day?

Get along!

Damn kids.

Do you Pinterest?

2011-10-22T15:40:00.000-07:00

I'm going to be honest and say that I don't really get Pinterest but I look at it all the time and it's pretty cool. There are some really great ideas that are posted, in addition to, well, other stuff. I get notifications often that people are "following" me on Pinterest and I feel badly because I don't pin. I just look. And steal.

Here's one idea I saw that right away I loved and knew it would be perfect for the mood of this house lately. I immediately stole the idea and made it for us.

I bought a frame and a stand at Home Goods for under $20 total. I bought a fine-tip dry erase pen and printed the paper to put inside the frame. This is about as creative as you'll ever see me get and I knew I could handle this one.

This will be good for all of us because it will force me to think of a reason everyday why I love my family (regardless of the chaos and noise and bickering) and it'll be good for them to read it. I told them it's open to anyone who would like to write something but the message is to the family as a whole. I am the Keeper of the Pen so they have to ask, it's not a toy or a drawing board, but I'd love for William and Drew to leave messages on here for the rest of us. We also can't wait to see what Lt. Baby Daddy writes one morning before leaving for work.

Tomorrow I may write, "I love you because... without you I would have no blog material. Love, Mommy."

Now go! Start pinning! Or stealing!

Emeto-whaaaaaa?

2011-10-22T11:57:00.000-07:00

I've blogged about this before but last night it became relevant yet again. GAH.

Do you have any phobias? Not just a fear of certain things, but true phobias? I think the biggest difference between the two is when you fear something you can just say, "OMG, that scares the shit out of me." With a phobia, you don't like to talk about it and it produces a true physical reaction. I have a couple fears and only one phobia. Emetophobia. I'll save you the trouble from googling it. It's the fear of throw up. It's a reallllly convenient phobia to have when you have three young children, let me tell you. Not a day goes by that I don't think about it. Especially on those nights when Chris is at the firehouse. I have a plan of action just in case I hear that horrid sound. I won't go into the details of my plan but they do include contacting my neighbor who has assured me she's at the ready at any hour.

I know that most people have an aversion to throw up. This is so much more. In a matter of half a second I break out in a sweat, I get tunnel vision, I can't think straight. This involves the sight of it, the smell of it, the sound of it. When I say I can't deal with it I absolutely mean it.

I'll cut out the gory details of last night and just tell you that I survived dealing with a child with the stomach flu! He threw up 3x an hour for nearly 5 hours and I survived! I dealt with it! I tended to him! I did 2 loads of laundry and bleached my entire downstairs at 2am! And again at 3am! But I DID IT! Alone!

Oh, and William is doing ok, too.

WILL DO MATH FOR JUNK FROM CHINA

2011-10-20T21:27:00.000-07:00

Drew's school has a no homework policy. No, I'm not kidding. It was absolutely not a selling point for me when we were searching for a school. I think homework is important for lots of reasons and as a teacher I just can't imagine getting everything in during the day that the kids actually don't have to go home and complete it. As a parent, I have to admit, it's kind of nice. BUT, back to it being important for lots of reasons... After Drew's conference last week I realize that the things we do (and have always done) is where she excells. The things we hardly ever do is where she is performing meh. Overall she's doing well, no biggie. I, however, know she can improve and this is where I think homework, or extra practice, comes into the picture. And in comes My Plan.

It's pretty simple. I bought William a K math workbook and I bought Drew a 1st-2nd grade math workbook. I bought Drew some heart stickers and I bought William some smiley face stickers. I bought a poster board. This is how it will work:

Once a day I will ask for their math workbook. I will check any new pages that are completed. They have to be done well and done completely. They don't have to all be correct, but any mistakes we'll discuss and fix. For each page which meets those requirements they get to put one of their stickers on the I Heart Math posterboard. For every 15 stickers each child earns, it's a trip to the dollar store. When each child earns 50 stickers, we will go to John's Incredible Pizza as a family.

Have some free time? Grab your math workbook if you want. It's up to you. Oh, see Drew working on her math in the car? You may want to, also, or she'll have more stickers than you! Want to sit with me while Lauren naps and work on a few pages you found that you don't understand? I'd love to do that. Don't feel like doing it today? That's fine, but don't complain when we go to the dollar store in a few days and you can't buy anything because you haven't earned the stickers for your 4 quarters yet.

That's it.

Simple, right?

They were super excited about it and although I haven't checked their books yet (I'll do it sometime tomorrow), I know each has done about 5 or 6 pages each. They both took their book to bed with them tonight. Shoot, we may be going to the dollar store tomorrow! If we do, I'm ok with that. Why? Because I want them to Heart Math.

I love it when...

2011-10-20T13:27:00.000-07:00

* The Starbucks lady says as we pull away from the drive-thru, "Have a good day, we'll see you tomorrow!"

* Lauren says, "Holla!" at the appropriate time.

* There isn't any clutter on my bathroom counter. Somehow it just reappears. Where does it come from?

* The birch tree leaves are littering my backyard lawn.

* Drew wears a dress as a skirt, a shirt that doesn't match, a feather in her hair, and her Uggs. Shows she doesn't care what anything thinks. Orrrr, she has really poor fashion sense. I think she just doesn't care.

* Chris makes dinner. I hate making dinner.

* I wake up and look at the clock and think it's nearly morning but it's really only 2:15am. ThankYouJesus!

* Lauren asks to take a nap or go to bed. I know, don't hate me.  If she's not throwing herself around in a fit she's awesome.

* The kids mind their manners without any prompting or reminding.

* I get a new "like" on my PPO5 facebook page. Not gonna lie, makes me feel special.

* A friend recommends a new drink and it becomes a new fav.

*  The seasons change from warm to not-so-warm.

* My house is quiet.  It's quiet right now so I'm off to enjoy it completely.

* YOU check in with me. XOXO

~ What the Hell Wednesday ~

2011-10-19T18:22:00.000-07:00

Best drunk buddy prank ever

A is for Awesome

A is for A Team

The producer of this segment should be fired

OMG, too true these days

I'm all about baby wearing but this is kinda weird

Inapporopriate baby announcement

Lots o' fun

2011-10-18T19:36:00.000-07:00

We had 15 kids here today for such a fun, kind-of-last-minute playdate. It involved brownies, juice, strawberries, pizza, a trampoline, a hose, jeeps, swings, and bikes. For hours and hours the kids played together nicely. No injuries, no tears, nothing broken. Just good honest fun. Love that my kids have friends who are kind and polite and respect adults. There were examples of manners and kindness all day long. But most of all, they had FUN!

Brownie break

Future firefighter?

Controlled chaos!

Now... only 5 more days 'til they go back to school. What are we doing tomorrow, gang?

Withdrawls soon to come

2011-10-17T16:49:00.000-07:00

It's 4:48pm and it's a Starbucks-free day. If you think that's notabigdeal, you're wrong.

4 minutes is not enough

2011-10-15T17:57:00.000-07:00

I love love love love love love my children. I hope that is obvious and never for a second doubted by anyone, especially them. In fact I don't think it's possible to love them anymore than I do. My heart would burst. I'm sure of it.

That was my disclaimer because now I'm going to bitch. Again.

This morning started a little before 7:00am. It is currently 5:51pm. There has been no more than 4 minutes at a time of silence. Think about that for a second. I mean, really. Think about it. Makes you irritable just to imagine it, right? RIGHT. I don't know why some days they seem so much needier (is that a word?) than others but they just are. Today was one of those days. Holy hell. I finally said I'd give everyone TWO HUNDRED POINTS if they went outside and played and didn't talk to me until I called them in. They scrambled outside as fast as they could. It's now 5:53pm and no one has talked to me in nearly 7 minutes. Ah, bliss.

Tomorrow we're going to spend 4 hours in the car together. That sounds fun, right? OMG.

Great apps for kids

2011-10-13T14:58:00.000-07:00

Click here for the TOP 50 EDUCATIONAL APPS!

'Cause you know you want your kids to ~~leave you alone sometimes~~ learn a lot while playing games.

Share this!

Interesting story and for once! it's not about the kids!

2011-10-12T20:42:00.000-07:00

I wrote about this a little over a year ago but we've since found the footage so I thought I'd include it in the blog again.

The following is written by my dad, Huey L'Herault. A thrilling story!

Above is the video of my "flyby" (flyTHROUGH) of Kansas City stadium in the opening game there against the Dolphins and the Chiefs in 1972. Leading 4 Attack Squadron 25 Navy A7's on that day in '72 was pretty special. We arrived at Forbes AFB in Witchita,KS the day before since Richards Gebaur AFB in KC was closed for runway repairs. The Chiefs picked us at in their turboprop, flew us back to KC, set us up in a hotel, gave us cars and had us as guests at a "Redcoats" function the prior evening. On Sunday morning they flew us back to Forbes to prepare for the event and had the plane set up to retrieve us so as to make the last half of the game as spectators. The pubicity director of the Chiefs was a good friend of my right wingman, Lt Don Roesch, who had received the flyover request and simply came back to Naval Airstation Lemoore and asked the squdron CO if we could do it. We cleared it through Commander Light Attack Wing Pacific, located at NAS Lemoore and who's operating senior, an old wizzended Navy Captain and golf friend, threatened me with bodily harm if we violated any Federal Aviation Administration regs during the event. As you may know the military were pretty much "persona non grata" upon return from Vietnam and we had just done so from USS Ranger.

I had given the publicity director a "survival radio" upon which to give us an 8 minute call and a 4 minute call for our arrival atop the stadium with a pullup of #2 man crossing the scoreboard in salute to the POW's. In advance we, as required, had published a NOTAM (Notice to Airmen) for ALL aircraft to remain clear of 5 miles of Arrowhead Stadium during the hour of the event. The Publicity Director had also provided Federal Aviation reps terrific 50 yard line seats for the game. Circling overhead we could look down and see the absolute logjam of cars, not moving, as they approached the stadium to the unsuccessful first day handling of lots of traffic. On the field was a huge musical group decked out in Revolutionary Army garb who were to play the National Anthem. I got the 8 minute call and got us set of for the 4 minute checkpoint leading to the overflight.

The plan was to come down over the city, tighten up REALLY close, and as we passed over the scoreboard I was to call "3, 2, 1, PULL" and my right wingman was to pull straight up abruptly as the "missing man". Accelerating downhill to cross Arrowhead around 400 knots (we had no afterburners to light to provided any nice added noise) and somewhere in the vicinity of minimum authorized altitude I caught out of the corner of my left eye an old open cockpit Stearman biplane belly up to me and pulling an AAMCO Transmission advertising rag on an invisible trailing wire. In about 2 microseconds I predicted our arrival be be simultaneous in a somewhat equivalent piece of airspace. That was not the anticipated result of course and I was really pissed that he hadn't read the NOTAM published for the day (in the 10 seconds I had to decide what to best do). With all due respect to fans, aviation lovers and a somewhat unbridled hormonal instinct I took the formation UNDER the biplane, level with the flagpole over the scoreboard, called for the pullup, ascended from stadium stop after passing under the Stearman, joined up the flight and returned to Forbes AFB to land, change clothes and have the Chief's turbo fly us back for the second half of the game.

At the start of the third quarter an announcement was made for the pilots of Attack Squadon 25 to join Mr. Hunt (Lamar) in his box at the conclusion of the game. We did so and were greeted upon arrival by Ms. Hunt, a spectacularly jeweled lady of younger years. While she admitted that their box did not allow them to see the top of the stadium she was quite impressed with the level of noise and the shadows of our planes on the opposite side stadium rows of fans. In preparation for stage 1 of my losing my wings I thanked Ms. Hunt for all of us, greeted a few other zealous Redcoats, shook Mr. Hunt's hand and left in preparation of stage 2.

It is blurry what happened until the next day when we all flew out of Forbes AFB and into NAS Fallon, Nevada where we were to commence a practice weapons deployment. Upon our arrival I was greeted with stage 2 of losing my wings when the CO reemed my butt for raising the ire of all Kansas City with my attempt to kill everyone in Arrowhead Stadium. This was backed up by a scathing anti-military Kansas City Star liberal editorial and a second verbal reeming from the Light Attack Wing Pacific Navy Captain who essentially told me not to buy any green tomatoes. ALL WAS NOT LOST HOWEVER! The Stearman pilot upon interview of the incident, and in fear of losing his livlihood, swore he was 1500 feet above the stadium, saw me the entire time, and was absolutely sure that I was well clear of him and at least 1000 feet above the stadium. The second and most powerful interview was with the FAA reps on the game 50 yard line......they LOVED the flyover and saw no incident requiring further consideration or investigation. Stage 3 of wings removal evaporated!
I've searched YOUTUBE and NFL films to find a copy of the filmed overfly but to no avail. I finally found it with a person in the Kansas City Chiefs archives. I knew it existed somewhere because in 1976 while on a Mediterranean deployment there was a sports clip attached to the nightly 16MM film (how ancient is that!!) shown in squadron ready rooms on aircraft carriers. The 4 second coverage of that 1972 flyby was right there...and all the attending aviators wondered who the dumb shit was that pulled that stunt. As the Air Wing Operations Officer I owned up to it.....and was immediately transformed from an Attack Pilot to a Fighter Pilot....in my eyes from dumb to dumber but I let the moment pass.

In recent years 4 F-18's made a college game day flyby and they all lost their wings. That IS on YOUTUBE, I think at a Clemson game but you can find it easily on the net. It's a shame they were flying so high.

The scoreboard before the flyover with my

dad's name at the top.

~ What the Hell Wednesday ~

2011-10-12T13:31:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again. Operation Get The Perfect Picture for our Family Christmas Card has begun. Honestly? It's exhausting. Maybe we'll just go all psycho and weird and freak our friends the F out and do this.

Oooooor, maybe not.

Because seriously, What the Hell????

YOU are doing it wrong.

2011-10-10T22:06:00.000-07:00

I can pretty much guarantee you've been doing it wrong your whole life. Got 2 minutes? Watch and learn, my friends.

Thanks to my dad for sending this clip! It's Drew's job to shuck the corn so I'm not sure if I'll give up doing it the old fashioned way quite yet but this is pretty awesome.

Chewy, alone time, and movie

2011-10-09T21:46:00.000-07:00

We call the pacifier a chewy. Drew never had one. I had heard it was easier to give up crack than it was a chewy so I never introduced one to Drew. Instead she ate books and paper and put everything she saw into her mouth until she was three. Looking back I think she would have loved one. With William the nurse gave him one of those blue Soothie chewies in the hospital and he loved it and I didn't care that he had it. I didn't care SO much that he had his until he was 3 years old. From 2 years old on they were only allowed in his bed but still... he had one. I know, it's not that unusual but I think age 3 is a little old. Especially considering William would take his chewie out, spew some great knowledge, then put it back in. It was kind of ridiculous. We chose to get rid of them at Christmas by leaving them on the hearth with the cookies for Santa so that he could take them to a new baby who needed it. William was a big boy and didn't need it anymore. He was cool with that. He cried for it once a few nights later and that was that.

Lauren. Lauren loooooooves her chewies. She stashes them around so that when I take one away she pops a new one in almost immediately. We've half-heartedly tried to keep them in her crib only but she's sneaky with them. And honestly, I haven't cared. I've got greater things to worry about, like the mountain of clean laundry to fold and put away or lunches to make or Real Housewives to catch up on. Spending my energy on a "No chewy downstairs" policy just hasn't been a priority. Until now.

Lauren's addiction is crazy. It's time to not quite cut her off - she'll be leaving her chewies for Santa this year, too - but it's time to make them a bedtime only thing. She also gets it now. I explained to her what would happen if she brought them downstairs. I would snip it. We did the same with William and after snipping one chewie he never brought one down again. I figure the same lesson will be learned with Lauren. She put it to the test today, so we'll see. She brought down her purple one and I said, "Lauren, no chewies downstairs, remember?" She said, "NO!" so I had to do what I said I was going to do. Please don't hate me, I know it's sounds cruel but trust me! It totally worked with William. He never brought one downstairs again. Yes, she cried. Yes, I felt like an ass. And yes, my fingers are crossed that it worked. I don't want to do that again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This weekend was all! about! the kids! Yesterday we had a fun birthday party and then went right to see Phineus and Ferb LIVE. We stopped on the way home to get ice cream. This morning Chris took them to do some birthday shopping for me (holla!) and to get donuts for breakfast. This afternoon I took them to see Dolphin Tale at the movie theatre. I mean, really. That's a bit much. After the movie and we were all home for a while, I was off to return a few items and pick up a few new ones (socks, winter coat for Lauren, jeans - you know. Fun stuff.) Drew wanted to come with me. I said no, I was going to run errands by myself, daddy was going to feed them dinner and I'd be home before they went to bed. She cried and cried and cried and wouldn't leave my car window. It's nice to be wanted. It's nice to be missed. BUT OMG. I needed an hour (or two) to just have some quiet and get a few things done. I kissed and kissed and kissed her but still left her crying on the curb. That sucked. A few minutes later Chris texted me this picture.

So sweet, right?

And see how the white board needs a good cleaning? If she hadn't sprayed her brother with the white board cleaning spray and gotten it taken away a few days ago she could.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We saw Dolphin Tale today. It's the sweetest movie. I would say it's for ages 6 and up, only because it doesn't have any spontaneous dancing and singing. It's dialogue and content. The subject matter certainly is appropriate but I'm unsure if it would hold a little one's attention. We loved it. I would definitely recommend seeing it with your kids. Gives you lots to talk about on the way home, too.

Have a nice Monday, friends.

Note to self...

2011-10-07T16:12:00.000-07:00

...if I ever own a dry cleaning business I must remember to do this, too.

Remember, it's the little things that really matter.

Cute Martha-ish snack idea that I'll probably never make - but you may want to!

2011-10-06T13:00:00.000-07:00

This is a great idea. They are easy, there is no recipe, and you could do them on your own and serve them to adults or you could have your kids help you make them and serve them at a playdate. (<--- That sounds as if I have playdates and "serve" fancy, time-consuming treats. I do not. I put out juice boxes, grapes, and fruit roll-ups. But if I was a wee bit more Martha-ish I would totally make these for a playdate.)

No one likes a braggart

2011-10-05T17:49:00.000-07:00

Every other mommy website (not blog) has Cutest! Baby! Ever! photo contests. Have you ever entered your child into one? I have, once, but I don't remember what it was for. It was a long time ago and apparently the judges didn't agree that she was the Cutest! Baby! Ever! so whatever.

I saw on the TODAYMoms facebook page - have you "like"d them? If not, you should. They are a great resource and have some great posts about important topics. Anyway, they are looking for a new face for their page and asked their fb moms to submit pictures of their kids. Soooo, I did.

I haven't won (yet!) but guess who made the sneak peak page?!

I know, it's not polite to brag about your kids but I figure the last 20 posts of me complaining about them makes up for this one post. Plus, it's not really bragging. It's not as if they've won. YET!

Click here to see my 3 blonde loves on the TODAYMoms page.

Click here to get to their page.

~ What the Hell Wednesday ~

2011-10-05T12:53:00.000-07:00

It looks like a SNL skit but it's not. It's a good idea for a product when you think about it but I just think there is no way it could actually be pulled it off well. Clearly.

Totally awesome spelling activity that takes almost no energy on your part. Awesome!

2011-10-04T18:39:00.000-07:00

Do your kids have weekly spelling test? Do you have an iPhone? I have something fooooorrrr yoooouuuuu!

(If you haven't already) download the Spell Test app. It's free! but even if it wasn't it'd be worth the $0.99.

It's really easy and within minutes you can have your child's entire spelling list entered and the words recorded.

Download Spell Test

You enter their words and as you enter them it asks you to speak the word.

Your child gets on and it speaks the word you entered and recorded (your voice!) He/she can click "say word again" if he/she need it repeated. The child is to type the word in. He/she then hits "next" and it goes on through the entire spelling list.

At the end of the test it will show the child the words he/she spelled correctly and the words he/she didn't with the correct spelling given. (took this image from google, this is not one Drew did).

You can easily check in and see how your child has done!

Drew takes my iPhone to bed with her and does her tests and she retakes them over and over from previous weeks. It's also something good to throw at them while you're waiting at the doctor's office or whatever. It ~~keeps them quite~~ is a good educational activity.

Now go download this app and help create good spellers!

Cooking is not on the list

2011-10-04T13:19:00.000-07:00

All I've ever wanted is to be home and raise my kids. I got my degree and my teaching credential just in case. I wouldn't trade the fact that I have this opportunity to stay home for anything. When I see it in writing, though, it's not nearly as an attractive life as I seem to think it is. What's really sad is he really had to struggle to come up with the third thing. And cooking never crossed his mind. As he gets older he'll see that my job encompasses much, much, much more. For now, if he thinks of "takes care of the kids" first then it's alllllll good.

Sometimes it's the little things

2011-10-03T21:40:00.000-07:00

It's so easy to get sucked into the negative crappy stuff, you know? To walk into the livingroom and say, "Who left their socks on the floor? I told you to not eat your yogurt in here. Who turned Shake it Up on, you know you're not allowed to watch that!" Instead of saying, "Hi, children whom I love and adore. Let's turn the tv off and sing songs together!"

Today was filled with little things that just tickled me. I'm really not often negative and I make an effort everyday to see things positively. It better pay off - this optimism I have - 'cause some days it requires a lot of energy. Anyway, today I just happened to see lots of little things that really could have turned my day around had it been not going well. A nice reminder that it really is the little things that make a difference sometimes.

1. I turned the heater on in the car this morning.

2. I thought I had no gum left but then alas! I found one at the bottom of my pocketbook. It was even in it's wrapper with no crumbs attached. Gross, but true.

3. It was cloudy and cool outside which allowed me to crawl under a blanket this afternoon with no guilt. I have no idea why that is but on cool, rainy, or cloudy days it's ok to snuggle in during the day and not think twice about it. In fact, that's what you should be doing.

4. I dreaded my circuit training class tonight because the instructor often plays the Bee Gees and it makes me want to vomit. Tonight she played some awesome, loud music that 20 year olds listen to at clubs and it made the workout go by so much faster.

5. I went to Target today and (amongst a shitload of other stuff) bought William a pair of shoes that he likes! and bought Drew a new toothbrush that she likes! and got out of there without Lauren throwing a fit!

6. Lastly, I got to listen to Drew read to me tonight. We read often together but tonight was different. She sat over there rather than over here. She wanted to sound out the words she may not know on her own and have control of the reading situation. Not only did she do such a fantastic job but her choice of book is the best ever.

I know you don't believe me but I swear this book was a gift and she chose to read it.

Love those little things, don't you?

It is OFFICIALLY pumpkin apple bread time!

2011-10-03T14:50:00.000-07:00

Do not be intimidated by this recipe. It's not as complicated as it looks and it's worth every minute in the kitchen. Double the recipe and freeze the additional loaves for next week. Or tomorrow. Because for reals, that's how fast it may go.

Great recipes are meant to passed around & this one is the best I've ever tasted - moist, etc. Will make your whole house smell like autumn!!! *Chris's Aunt Missy passed this along to me a few years ago and I've made it every October and November ever since. It is requested by all I've shared it with!

I add about a cup of chopped walnuts to the batter cause I love walnuts w/apples & pumpkin & also sprinkle chopped walnuts on top of "topping".

I double the topping. I pour 1/2 batter into the loaf pan -sprinkle one serving of topping & pour rest of batter & then put second serving of topping on top of that - killer!

For topping:

1 Tbs all-purpose flour

5 Tbs sugar

1 tsp ground cinnamon

1 Tbs unsalted butter, softened (I use "salted" just cause I don't have "unsalted" in my house usually)

For bread:

3 cups all-purpose flour

3/4 tsp salt

2 tsps baking soda

1 1/2 tsps ground cinnamon

1 tsp freshly grated nutmeg

1/4 tsp ground cloves

1/4 tsp ground allspice

1 (15-oz) can solid-pack pumpkin

3/4 cup vegetable oil (I use 3/4 cup butter instead - wonderful!!!)

2 1/4 cups sugar

4 large eggs, lightly beaten

2 Granny smith apples, peeled, cored, and chopped (2 cups)

MAKE THE TOPPING: Blend together flour, sugar, cinnamon. Melt the butter in the microwave and pour into the dry mixutre. Mix with a fork.

MAKE THE BREAD: Put a rack in the middle of oven and preheat oven to 350F. Butter two 9 X 5 inch loaf pans. (I just spray "PAM" into pans.)

Sift together flour, salt, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves and allspice into a medium bowl. Then add oil(or butter), sugar, and eggs in a large bowl. Add the pumpkin. Add flour mixture, stirring until well combined. Fold in apples (and walnuts if using nuts).

Divide batter between buttered loaf pans. Sprinkle half of topping evenly over each loaf. *Remember, if you double the topping, do batter, topping, batter, topping. So yummy to have that topping the middle, too.

Bake until a wooden pick or skewer inserted in center of bread comes out clean, 50 to 60 minutes.

Cool loves in pans on a rack for 45 minutes, then turn out onto rack and cool completely, about 1 hour.

This bread is meant to be SHARED!!! Make for your neighbors, your coworkers, your family. The only downside to this is it will be requested every year!

Point system

2011-10-01T07:36:00.000-07:00

The kids are eating up the fake point system I sometimes use. I can just all of a sudden say, "100 points for the first person to be undressed and ready for bath!" and they all start to scurry like ants. It's pretty awesome. I know my time with this fake point system is limited so I'm going to start using it more often.

This morning Lauren was awake at 6:05am. For some that may be ok or even normal, for me it might as well be the middle of the night. We're usually up at 7:00 but that additional hour is the crucial hour, I think. Anyway, after she played for about 20 minutes in her crib she started yelling for me. Then screaming for me. Then kicking the crib rails. Drew was sleeping in my bed with me (don't ask, long story) and she was awake-ish at this point. I said to her, "Do you want to be the mommy this morning? " She said, "Sure!" I said, "If you do a really good job, I'll give you 100 points." She was up and on her way to get Lauren so fast and she was so excited. So was I. Zzzzzzzzz.

I stayed in bed for another 20 minutes or so and got up to find milk had been served, oranges had been peeled, and a show on Sprout was playing just for Lauren. I think I may just give her 200 points for that.

Far from perfect and perfectly fine with that

2011-09-30T13:03:00.000-07:00

Our toy closet is a disaster. Like you can't even walk in there to get something half the time. About 10 days out of the month I get the kids' clean clothes in the morning out of a basket instead of their closet because they haven't been hung up yet. I have no idea how working moms or single moms do it. This IS my full-time job and I have the help of a partner some of the time and I still don't have it all together. Maybe because I don't worry or stress and I'm content with things being done as opposed to being perfect.

I think if your marriage is intact and you pay attention to its needs, the kids are happy and loved, your house is maintained and you are a good role model with responsibility, the rest is gravy. Right? Even though I yell at my kids, am always a few days behind in laundry, and turn on the tv too often I still feel like I'm doing my job just fine. Perfection is not my goal. Niether is being Superwoman or Supermom. Mainly because the headdress looks completely ridiculous on me.

SEE??

I believe in...

2011-09-29T14:41:00.000-07:00

I believe in my first intuition

I believe in kid-free vacations

I believe in family story time

I believe in waiting 'til October 1 to put up Fall decorations

I believe in Chris

I believe in my children's teachers

I believe that true friendships never die

I believe that some friendships must

I believe that homemade is always better

I believe in blogging

I believe your sibling is a gift

I believe kids can learn a lot from television

I believe that cake for breakfast on your birthday is special

I believe kids need to sometimes have the freedom of choice

I believe in consequences for poor ones

I believe Starbucks saves my sanity

I believe that missing your spouse regularly is good for your marriage

I believe in the family I am creating.

What do you believe in?

~ What the Hell Wednesday ~

2011-09-28T13:50:00.000-07:00

If you're a woman and you wear above a size 10 you probably own a pair of Spanx (or two or three). You know, these:

Clearly this biotch didn't get the message that you're not allowed to wear them if you're this tiny OR put your stelletos on until after your dress is on. Anyway, this is what I'm talking about. I call them sucker-inners and that's basically what they do. They smooth out what isn't naturally smooth anymore. I know, that's a lovely visual but c'mon. It's just a fact of life for some of us. I can do better than painting a picture for you with words. How's this:

What the hell?

They are supposed to go on under your clothes, not as your clothes. Isn't it something that no one stopped her before she started working that day to tell her to go home and finish getting dressed? I mean, what the hell? That's just mean.

*Thanks, Melissa, for passing this picture along for WTHW!

Gave birth to the blog 2 years ago, let's celebrate!

2011-09-27T21:12:00.000-07:00

On October 5, 2009, I posted this:

First post on my first blog - I figured I'd start out small and easy. Kinda like that girl to the right, there. Small and easy. Check back, I'll try and keep you up on the daily nothings of the Peters household. Here we go!

Since then I've posted 678 more blog posts. It's crazy to think that in nearly 2 years I've sat down at least 4 or 5 times a week and written something that you have read. Well, ok, you haven't read them all but even if you've read a handful it still trips me out. For reals, I expect my mom to be my only reader and as you know, I'm thrilled to know that in fact she is not the only one. YOU are, too, and I love that.

SO! In celebration of this little blog's two year anniversary we're doing a GIVEAWAY! With some blog giveaways you have to do 5 different things just to qualify and enter. This one is so easy. Ready? You have to "like" my Peters Party of 5 facebook page. You have to "like" our giveaway boutique's facebook page, Misty's Cans and More. That's it. (You can click on both those purple links to get to the appropriate page, click like, and you're done!)

Wanna see the goods?

Isn't it so cute? You can use this festive Fall decorated can as a vase, you can fill it with kitchen goodies and give it as a housewarming or a thank you gift, you can put your favorite recipe inside and give it to your child's teacher, the possibilites are endless, really. *Check out all her other great creations on her Etsy page by clicking here!*

The giveaway will end and a winner will be chosen on the two year anniversary, Wednesday, October 5.

Remember, all you have to do is "like" Peters Party of 5 and "like" Misty's Cans and More.

Thanks for reading and checking in and for the feedback you provide. I'm proud to be a member of the Mommy Club and to be able to share my stories and in return hear about yours.

Please be sure to "like" both pages to enter and pass this along to your friends.

xoxo

Hungry Like the Wolf!

2011-09-27T09:32:00.000-07:00

I'm dying to blog about the last few days but Lauren is literally crawling on me as I type this. I'll post this and then get back on later tonight when the crawlers are asleeeeeeeep.

Why I got dressed this morning

2011-09-25T11:27:00.000-07:00

The only reason I got dressed before 10am this morning was because of this.

They took nearly 20 pillows from around the house and piled them on the landing. It was called Pillowland.

I was in the kitchen doing important things, like making brownies, when I heard quite a commotion. They were jumping from 7 steps up into this pile. I figured I should get dressed so when I had to load a bleeding child into the car to take them to the ER I wasn't still in my pajamas.

Luckily no one was injured and the most painful thing of the existence of Pillowland was their mean mommy making them put every pillow back where it belonged when they were all finished jumping.

Ah, Sundays.

And I think to myself...

2011-09-24T18:05:00.000-07:00

The gift of cool may be backfiring

2011-09-23T11:40:00.000-07:00

I hate to do back-to-back posts about the same thing but this needs to be addressed.

This is how Lauren spends about 1/3 of her days now.

She's just a melty, sobby mess. She wants a popsicle at 7:15am, she wants to chew gum like Drew, she doesn't want me to put the sharp knives away when emptying the dishwasher because she wants to do it, she doesn't want me to brush my hair, she wants to tie my shoes for me, and on and on and on.

This is not my first rodeo. I'm not really at a loss or exhausted or fed up. Yet. But it is getting kind of old. But get this: Chris said this morning, "Why don't you and Lauren run to the bank and Old Navy and then we'll pick up the kids together and go to Costco after school - all of us." I said, "Taking Lauren to the bank and Old Navy ain't what it used to be. She throws a fit everywhere we go now." Then he said these words: "I don't what you're doing because she doesn't behave that way with me."

It's a good thing there were no cacti around.

The thing is, Chris is awesome. He's 100% their dad and although he works crazy hours at the firehouse and runs a full-time business, when he is home he is daddy to the max. He does spend time with them alone and with each alone individually. I have no clever retort about how he doesn't see that behavior because he's not with them or whatever. That's not the case.

Honestly? I think keeping my cool during tantrums may be one of the things that perpetuates them a bit. Chris isn't as gifted as I (keeping your cool during a tantrum in a crowded store is a gift) and he loses his cool a little bit. Lauren doesn't like that so she stops. I keep my cool and she keeps on. Hmmmmmm.

No matter what the deal is with her not throwing such fits with daddy, he should know better than to state it that way. I will speak to him about that. Or maybe I'll have William speak to him about it. William has heard the, "Watch what you say and how you say it" lecture a bajillion times. In the meantime, I'm going to work on losing my cool and see how that works out. I'll keep you posted.

Jerzday!

2011-09-22T09:29:00.000-07:00

I've confessed my like for Jersey Shore in other posts. I totally blame my fascination on my B.A. in Sociology. I'm just interested in... the way others live. Yep, that's it. It's like research, that's all. Every Thursday at 10pm I have school.

Don't judge.

Thanks to Amanda for thinking of me when she saw this picture.

~ What the Hell Wednesday ~

2011-09-21T07:13:00.000-07:00

This shirt is sold at Nordstrom and StarbucksStore.com for $85. EIGHTY FIVE DOLLARS.

What the hell? I've got three artists here who can make this for free. Hit me up if for some stupid reason you want to wear a shirt with coffee spilled on it on purpose. I'll only charge you $10.

You can read about this shirt here if you're interested.

Lauren was off-the-hook

2011-09-20T12:16:00.000-07:00

Or is it off-the-chain? Well, whatever the kids are saying these days, that's what she was this morning.

It's funny how kids teach us so much. They think we are here to teach them when in fact the same is true of them - they are here to teach us as well. I have learned a lot of lessons from my kids, too many to list actually. I must say that probably my most valuable lesson came today, though. Lauren unknowingly taught it to me while we were shopping at Target. Ready? Here it is: Idiot kids don't always come from idiot parents.

I am not an idiot parent. I am the parent who disciplines. I am the parent who expects manners. I am the parent who is consistently consistent with everything. I am the parent who reprimands and even spanks in public. Yet, I am the parent who had the screaming kid today at Target. I am the parent whose daughter took off her shoes and threw them down the aisle. I am the parent who had to pick up an entire display of Tupperware that her kid knocked over. I am the parent who is NOT an idiot yet seemed to have the idiot kid today. It just doesn't make sense. Right? Oh, wait. That lesson. Yes, it does make sense. Idiot kids don't always come from idiot parents.

Lauren is 2. She's the baby of the family and she's treated as such, not to anyone's benefit however. We're kind of finding this out. For the last two and a half years if she's wanted something we've said, "Just give it to her so she'll stop whining." I would have rather been run over by a bus than have said those words to or about Drew or William. Honestly I think that with the fighting and arguing and noise in this house, I just want Lauren to shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Just stoppppppppppp. Just be quiet. Therefore, give the child what she wants so she'll not create more noise. It's horrible and I'm embarrassed to admit it but I'm pretty sure that's the truth. She's not been completely without lessons and expectations but she's been babied waaaay more than the other two ever were. I'm wondering, naturally, if this contributes to behavior like today. She just becomes this wild, primal being who does whatever the hell she feels like doing. Is this that baby acting like an unruly idiot or is this her being 2 or is it a bit of both? I can't control the 2 part but I can control the other. I need to stop babying the baby so much.

Back to Target: While she was screaming, I called Chris to come get her. I had shit to do today and leaving a carriage full of stuff wasn't one of them. Thankfully he was able to come get her so I could continue shopping. She was LIVID to be leaving and I literally plopped her in her car seat and closed the door. Chris was in charge from that point on. Apparently she screamed all the way home and then as he turned into our cul-de-sac she fell asleep. She went from screaming to sleeping in two breaths.  By the time I got home she was fast asleep in her crib and here we are over an hour later and she's still asleep. This is reassuring to me because it makes me think that maybe it's not her being the idiot kid and it's not her being 2. Maybe she's getting sick. YES! Sick! Maybe she's sick. That would be awesome. Whew.

So, in conclusion:  I finished my shopping list in peace, Chris is awesome for dropping his work to come get her, I'm hoping she wakes with a fever so I can be sure she's not the idiot kid, and, most importantly, I learned my lesson.

Thanks, Lauren. I love you so much, my baby sunshine. But you better knock that shit off.

I kind of suck at my job

2011-09-19T11:08:00.000-07:00

I kind of suck at my job. Not totally suck, just kind of suck. The kids are fed and clothed and clean and happy (and so is Chris) but I kind of do the bare minimum most times to keep it that way. I'm not going to lie, they are fed but rarely is it a hot, completely homemade yummy meal. They are clothed but it's often out of a basket of clean clothes that have yet to be put away. Considering I don't have to leave my house to work you'd think I could totally keep up on it all and it'd be all together, right? I'd think so. But it just doesn't seem to be that way and I'm not sure why. Maybe I need to try harder or work harder. Actually, as good as Chris is, he kinda called me out on it. That was my wake up call. So, I'm going to start cooking . My poor family. I'm also going to hang up and put away clean clothes everyday. Everyday, do you hear me? I swear it. I keep a clean and picked up house so thankfully that's not something I need to change. I think the whole cooking and hanging up clothes everyday thing is enough to throw me for a loop. What's funny is that I think most people think that's what stay-at-home moms DO as their job. It's part of it. I'd like to say I just focus my time more on what really matters while I'm home raising my kids. BLOGGING.

What's for dinner at your house?

If you click on the picture he'll dance for you!

Rated G is not for everyone

2011-09-18T21:21:00.000-07:00

As you know, I'm quite particular about many things. I don't think that the money dance should be done at weddings (sorry if this offends you!), I don't think a ginormous goody bag is necessary for the children who attend your child's birthday celebration, and I don't think that you need to separate your whites from your colors unless there is a new pair of jeans in the load from Banana Republic which inevitably will turn your whole wardrobe a drab gray. I mean, why make more work for yourself? Anyway, another thing I'm particular about is kids at the movies. I mean little kids. Like 8 month olds. Really?

I took the big kids to see The Lion King tonight. It was in 3D and aside from the stampede part it was fabulous for them. They loved it. William kept reaching out in a Stevie Wonder kinda way with his 3D glasses on to touch the leaves or the water or the lion's fur as it went by in front of his face. That was so cute. The thing I had to work on was ignoring the INFANTS who were making noise. Just because a movie is rated G, my friends, doesn't mean that your baby needs to go see it. And I totally get that if the baby doesn't come with you than you may not get to go to the movies. I get it - but SORRY. That's kind of how it may have to be for a very short period of time in your life. Not only do the INFANTS disturb others but it's gotta be really loud and scary for them, don't you think?

Anyway, it was a great time for us and we had popcorn for dinner which you can never go wrong with. We quoted the movie all the way home and Drew just went to sleep listening to the soundtrack I've had for nearly 20 years now.

The Lion King is only out in theaters for 2 weeks. Take your kids before it's gone! But I'll speak for the person sitting next to you - for God's sweet sake, leave your babies at home!

Hakuna Matata

Another E.R. visit. Ugh, lame.

2011-09-18T09:07:00.000-07:00

I have become the Girl with the Medical Issues. 2 kidney stones since February, emergency gall bladder surgery, taking a Lupus drug for an unknown connective tissue disease which wracks my body but has no name. I'll be 36 years old in a few weeks. That's crazy to have all that at this age.

I decided this summer that this school year my full-time job (other than wife and mommy and Keeper of the House) is to work out. That's it. Just work out. Not lose 30 pounds, not be a size whatever by Christmas - just to work out. So far, so good. There is no reason why, even if I remain heavier than I'd like, that I can't be more healthy and more fit.

For 5 days now I've had what I thought was kidney pain and a horrible headache. Last night after the kids went to bed I decided to go to the ER (per the suggestion of the Kaiser nurse lady on the phone). I just knew it was a kidney stone and was, after 5 days, pissed and irritated and uncomfortable. Long story short - I got there at 7:55pm. I was seen at 11:15pm and I was discharged at 12:20am. 4 and a half hours in the ER and after a few tests were done you know what my diagnosis is? A PULLED MUSCLE. A freaking pulled muscle. Right on the side of my back, low where my kidney is. I was relieved but embarrassed. I sat there that whole time for them to tell me it was a pulled muscle. That may be why after working out yesterday morning it seemed to flare up. It's all kind of making sense. Ugh, lame.

This situation has made me realize that because of the issues I've had the last few months that I kinda freak when I have a new symptom. I'm gonna be one of those. Like the lady I listened to cry and wimper and look around to see who was watching her before she'd continue on last night in the ER for THREE AND A HALF HOURS.

In this home we...

2011-09-15T18:37:00.000-07:00

We also do yelling, laughing, crying, whining, snuggling, disciplining, learning, and playing. Oh, and bitching.

What do you do?

Thoughts

2011-09-14T11:26:00.000-07:00

I was listening to NPR on the way to a doctor's appointment this morning. The topic was the unemployment rate in the state of California (11%!) and ways in which that can be changed and prevented from happening again, as well as the consequences of such a high unemployment rate on every citizen in the state. The apathy of the people who think they aren't affected is a huge factor in changes being so slow in coming. After about 5 minutes of listening to it I changed it to a different station and found myself rocking out to Neyo and Pitbull. And, my friends, there inlies the problem.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I take a class at the gym 4 nights a week. 3 are cardio/lifting classes, one is Zumba. There is a girl in there who attends almost every single class I do. She is super tall and fit and thin but mostly super tall. She just looks... giantly tall. Last night, for the first time, I stood next to her as we were putting our weights away. We're the same height. I think because she's thin she appears taller and I think because not a whole lotta women are nearly 6 feet it just struck me. Do people think I am giantly tall? I'm certainly helping myself to appear shorter with my girth but... do they?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had an eye appointment this morning. I've worn glasses since I was a sophomore in high school. I just can't see far away. I'm a squinter without my glasses. With each pregnancy, though, my eye sight became better. Then better, then better. The optomotrist told me that if I had two more babies I'd probably be 20/20. Well, since I'm 2.5 years out from my last pregnancy my eyes are getting worse again, and by worse I just mean to how they were before babies. Weird. But! I get to go pick out new glasses. I may change up my look a little. Or maybe not. I'm kinda chicken and not a fan of change. We'll see. I also told him that my eyes are really red and bothersome in the morning or even after a long nap. He said it's caused by dryness and it's likely that for some reason all of a sudden I may be sleeping with my eyes open a little bit. CREEP EEEE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

William had a great birthday yesterday and I want to thank all of those who love him who reached out to him or even to me. Last night when I put him to bed I told him all the mushy stuff I feel about him and how I'm so happy he had a great birthday. He said, "Mommy, I promise I'll never unlove you." I've never heard more awesome words.

~ What the Hell Wednesday ~

2011-09-14T06:41:00.000-07:00

I feel two ways about this:

1. What the hell is wrong with you people? Don't go on TV and gripe. It was an honest mistake and one that they will be correcting. It's unfortunate but it certainly wasn't meant to cause you any added grief. The fact that you went on tv to call them out on it rather than just deal with it internally with the appropriate organization is kinda shitty.

2. What the hell is wrong with you people? Couldn't you have hired someone to triple check all the names before they were literally engraved in stone? My maiden name is L'Herault. I lived for 26 years with my name being misspelled and mispronounced. I am sensitive to that and feel badly for the family of this man. It shows disrespect when a name is misspelled, I think. It wasn't intentional, but still. You needed that memorial to be perfect, as they said.

What do you think?

Finally of age

2011-09-13T13:28:00.000-07:00

Today's birthday wasn't about cake for breakfast or opening presents. It was about this:

Just another reason I think he's pretty damn cool.